Oh The Things They'll Do!
by WhiteLinen
Summary: The rating's just to be safe, and is mainly for the first chapter! The Hogwarts Crew undergo a series of crazy things. Draco/Hermione
1. Mud

Oh, The Things They'll Do!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter except for Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Tom Felton.  ;-)  The rest belongs to the lovely and talented J. K. Rowling.  Yes, I am sucking up lol even though it's highly unlikely that she will read this lol. **

**Distribution: Go ahead, just let me know in a review first.**

**A/N: Enjoy!**

"I'm bored."  Ginny Weasley stated.

            "Me too."  The entire Griffindor common room answered her.

            "Wow Hermione.  You're bored?  You have no homework, no studying, nothing to read?  I'm worried."  Ron felt Hermione's forehead for a fever.

            "Very funny, Ronald Weasley,"  Hermione snapped at the red head.  "Well, what do y'all wanna do?"

            "We could mud wrestle," Fred said hopefully, glancing at Angelina.

            "Yeah!"  Every guy in the room liked that idea.

            "No way!  That's gross!  I'm not rolling around in some mud, wearing next to nothing just so you guys can have some fun.  Besides, Filch would kill us!"  Hermione looked appalled.  

            "Hey, maybe we can get Malfoy to come."  Everyone ignored Hermione and kept planning their day.

            "Draco Malfoy?"  Hermione blushed.  "Well, you only live once.  Sure…  I'll play."

            "I'm gonna go get some food from the kitchens."  Harry Potter sprinted out of the room, excited at the prospect of having a bunch of half-naked girls around him all afternoon.

            "We'll go find Malfoy."  Seamus Finnigan said.  He and Dean Thomas left to room with menacing grins on their faces, wands out.

            "I guess we'll go get changed then."  Parvati, Lavendar, Ginny, Hermione, Alicia, Angelina, and Kaitie headed up the girls' stairwell and into their rooms.

             When the girls returned to the common room, the boys had returned, joined by Padma Paitl, and Cho Change, who were eyeing up Malfoy, who looked really good in his swimming trunks. He stripped off his t-shirt, revealing his tan, built chest. ** *USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS, PPL!  YOU KNOW HE'S SEXY!*** Pansy Parkinson stood next to him, feeling his six pack while he flexed his abs.

            When he and Pansy were done, there was practically a puddle of girls on the floor.  ***INCLUDING ME…  SOOO  SEXY!!!!!***  

            When they all got themselves sorted out, Hermione conjured a shallow swimming pool filled with water and dirt.  Everyone jumped in and ran around to mix up the mud.

            When the mud was ready, everyone stripped down to their bathing suits and prepared to fight. 

            The boys were astonished to find that of all the girls, Hermione looked the best in her suit.  It was a blue two piece with shorts and a halter top.  It covered her stomach, but was very low in the top, and had about two inches at the bottom of the top where a bit of skin was showing.  She filled it quite nicely.  Hermione grinned when she heard Draco's sharp intake of breath.

            "Okay," George said, breaking the silence.  "Who's first?"

            No one moved.  It was as if the girls were Veela.

            "I'll go first.  Who wants to fight me?"  Hermione offered, half-raising her hand.

            That kicked the boys out of their stupor.  "I will!"  Every guy in the room volunteered.

            "Woah, same-sex fights only.  How about Cho?"  Harry offered.  Everyone knew the real reason Harry wanted Cho in there.  His  crush on her was quite obvious.

"Okay," Cho pulled off the t-shirt she was wearing and hopped into the "ring".  She and Hermione faced each other and met in the center, placing their hands on each other's shoulders. 

            After Hermione won, coated in mud and grinning, the common room door swung open suddenly.  Professors Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Flitwick entered the room.

            "What is the meaning of this?"  Professor McGonagall yelled.  "We will be back in ten minutes.  This had better be cleaned up when we return or detention for all!"  She and the other teachers left the room, leaving the students to clean up the mess.

            "So…  Who's next?"  Hermione asked, wiping herself off with a towel.

            The next ten minutes flew by in a whirlwind of mud.  Harry and Ron fought, as did Crabbe and Goyle…  They made an exception of the rules for Draco and Hermione to fight.  They all realized that Malfoy and Granger had feelings for each other, so they let it go.

            They were all having so much fun that they didn't notice the returned teachers until Professor Snape cleared his throat loudly.  They all turned, shocked, to see all the Hogwarts teachers at the door, clad only in bathing suits…

**TBC…**


	2. Karaoke

Oh, The Things They'll Do! 

Karaoke!

**Disclaimer:I**** own nothing/no one but Tom Felton…  He asked me to marry him yesterday…  Of course I said yes.  We're going to be very happy, congratulate me at every chance you get.  The only thing that sucks about this is that I have to get rid of all my other boiz; Dan, Rupert, ****Milo****, Greg, Oliver, Shane, and Deryck (see my story 'A Dream Come True' for a complete list)…  To anyone who wants them, I have bidding set up in my reviews…  Just add the monetary amount, and who you want in your review, along with all the nice things you are saying about me!  Lol…  Oh, by the way, I don't own any of the songs, either…  Jeez it's hot in here… *Opens window*.**

**Distribution: Ya, whatever…  Just lemme know in a review.**

**A/N: I originally wasn't going to keep going, but then I got more ideas for this story…  This chapter is karaoke!!  What's next???  I'll tell you at the end of this chappie!**

            "I'm bored."  Albus Dumbledore stated.           

             "Me too."  The entire school – well, the students that were staying there for the holidays – answered him.

            "What can we do?"  He asked, leaning his long pointed chin on his hand, looking tired.

            "Ooh!  I know!"  Colin Creevey stood up on his chair and waved his arm in the air.

            Dumbledore rolled his eyes.  Colin was so annoying…  "Yes, Colin?  What would you like to do?"

            "Let's do karaoke!"

            "Yeah!"  Snape jumped up.  "I mean…  What a horrible idea…  What kind of idiot would parade around in front of a bunch of people, singing off-key to some song they barely know?"

            "Okay, karaoke it is, then."  Albus clapped his hands and a karaoke machine with a microphone appeared on a large stage where the Gryffindor table usually was.  "Who would like to go first?"

            No one moved.  "Well, then, maybe I'll go!"  Albus stood and strode over to the stage.  He made sure the mike was turned on, then left it in its stand as he began to sing "Don't Walk Away, Eileen" by Sam Roberts.  The entire room was filled with hoots of laughter, as he provided a great show, as well as some very good dance moves to boot.  

            When he was finished, he took a bow, and handed the mike off to Crabbe and Goyle, who had been standing off to one side, waiting for their turn.  They then sang a rousing rendition of "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", which left everyone sitting, dumbfounded, in their seats, unable to say anything, until Harry stood up and yelled "Uh, FA-REAK!"

            "So…  Who's next?"

            Draco Malfoy rose out of his seat.  "I'd like to give it a whirl."  He walked slowly to the stage.  When the mike was passed to him, he clambered up the steps and faced the group in front of him, cleared his throat, and spoke softly into the mike.  "I'd like to dedicate this song to Hermione Granger."  

The music started…  Hermione gasped and covered her mouth when she recognized the song.  Tears welled up in her eyes as he started singing.

_"And I'd give up forever to touch you _

_'Cause I know that you'd feel me somehow_

_You're the closet to heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_

_And all I can breathe is your life_

_And sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

_I don't want the world to see me _

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that aren't coming_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

_When everything feels like the movies_

_Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

_And I don't want the world to see me _

_'Cause  I__ don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am _

_And I don't want the world to see me_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I don't want the world to see me _

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

_When everything's made to be broken_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am_

_I just want you to know who I am."_

By the end of the song, Draco was standing in front of Hermione.  He took her hand in his and said: "I love you, Hermione."

Hermione flew into his arms, tears streaming down her face.  "I love you too, Draco Malfoy," she whispered, "forever."

***A/N: Anyhoo, I hope you liked it!  I didn't have a clue as to what I was going to do with this, but I figured it out.  The next chapter will probably not arrive for the next little while, as I'm going through a bit of a rough spot right now in my life…  Banned from hanging out with my best friend, you know the story…  I'll get back to you soon!  Oh yeah, the next chapter is Truth or dare…  I know it's been done to death, but has anyone incorporated body shots?  Didn't think so…  They are my way of showing more Draco/Hermione interaction…  Enjoy.**

**~the14milo***


	3. T or D

***Here she is again, the14milo (dun dun dun) lol…  Thanks to everyone who reviewed****J****.  As for the bidding, well, you've all lost out on Rupert…  He's gone to live with aka_whatever1213…  You guys should have outbid, but now you're too late!!!!!  He went for $10!!!!!!!!!!  Well, here goes…  Hope you like it :D  Keep writing,**

**~the14milo***

Oh, the Things they'll do!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Tom Felton.  I've already had henry-jay-henry say she'd be a flowergirlie, but no reply from anyone else...  I guess I should ASK Tye and Canadachick (Tye only reads my Gilmore Girls fanfics, and Canadachick broke her computer…  Bright… lol).  Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: I'd just like to address one of my reviewers, who I will not name;  How do I put this politely without making all of you hate me?  Uh…  Here goes; I was kind of upset by your review, and I would like to clarify that I am writing this story, and will write it the way I like, ergo, I can not promise to stop the "I love you" thing as you requested…  That's where the story is headed, and if you don't like that, then you can stop reading.  I'm writing this the way I want to write it, and you can deal with it, or not deal at all…  Also, I'd like to say in general that I take the time to edit and carefully pick every word used in my stories, and I'd expect at least for the reviews people leave to be legible…  If you find a story that's full of grammar and spelling mistakes, you don't read it/acknowledge it, right?  Please be courteous, people…  I only brought that up because I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar…  I correct everyone's grammar…  Ohh now I feel horrible ****L…  I hope you all don't hate me!!!  Please don't hate me!***

"I'm bored," Harry Potter said.

            "Me too," answered the rest of his sixth year Herbology class, as well as the seventh year Charms class, and fifth year DADA class.  It was almost Christmas, and most of the professors had given up trying to teach them, so they were in the Great Hall, lounging around.

            "What should we do?" Parvati Patil asked.

"How about spin the bottle truth or dare?" Ginny suggested.  "I read about it in one of Hermione's Muggle magazines.  You sit in a circle and someone spins a bottle, then the person it points to has to pick 'truth' or 'dare'.  Then the person who spun the bottle has to either ask them a question for truth, or give them a task for dare.  If you don't want to answer the question or do the task, you have to remove a piece of clothing".

"Sounds good," Harry shrugged.  "Who wants to go first?"

"Ooh!  Me!"  Hermione jumped up and took a butterbeer bottle from Harry, drinking the rest of it quickly, oblivious to his complaints.  She placed it on the floor and spun it.  It landed on Crabbe.  

"Okay, Crabbe, truth or dare?"  Ginny asked.

"Uh…  Truth," Crabbe grunted. 

"Okay, who do you like the best out of everyone here?"  Hermione asked.

"Um…"  Crabbe turned red.  "Draco."

"WOAH!"  Draco jumped up and ran across the circle from Crabbe, sitting himself between Cho and Harry.  "Sorry man, but I don't swing that way".

Slightly unnerved, Hermione tossed the bottle across the circle to Crabbe.  He spun it, and it landed on Ron.  

"Okay, dare".  Ron didn't hesitate before answering.

"Do the hokey-pokey".

Ron performed his task, and then proceeded to spin the bottle, landing it on Hermione.  "Kiss any guy in the room, your choice," he said when she chose dare.  "Then tell us how it was".

Hermione leaned across Harry and kissed Draco.  About fifteen seconds later, she sat back down.  "Hmm," she said.

"How was it?"

Hermione shrugged.  "I don't know, I think I may have to try it again".  She kissed him again.  "Hmm…  Not bad.  Where's the bottle?"

The bottle was handed to her, and she spun it, landing it on Cho.  After she picked 'dare', Hermione snickered.  "You have to do a body shot with Harry".

"A what?" 

"You don't know what they are??  Okay…  Put a slice of lime in your mouth, the rind on the inside.  Take off your shirt so Harry can put a handful of sugar on your stomach.  Then he has to drink a shot of tequila, take a bite out of the lime, then lick the sugar off".

"Uh…  Okay then". Cho lay down on the floor and pulled her top off.  She draped it over Harry's neck and handed him the sugar bowl.  "Do your worst".

            Harry looked like he was going to wet himself in excitement.  He did the shot, kind of messily, much to the appeal of the others.  He helped Cho back into her shirt, running his hands along her sides as he did so.  She arched her back into him, and muttered something about going to clean up.  

            "Uh…  Yeah, me too," Harry said, jumping up and following her out.

            "Well…  Not that those two are gone…"  Hermione picked up the bottle and handed it to Goyle.  "Your turn,"  

            "Hey," Angelina cut in, "you guys just want to do body shots?"

            "Meh, why not."  Hermione stretched out on the floor.  "Who's first?"

**To Be Continued…**

***Well???  Loved it?  Lemme know.  Hated it?  Lemme know.  Want more?  Lemme know.   Either way, I'll try to write more!!  See you on the flip flop.  Lata!!!***


	4. Party Time!

Oh, The Things They'll Do!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the party.  This is a true story.  It was an adventure with some friends of mine.  See if you can guess which person I am in this one!**

            "I'm bored," stated Draco Malfoy.

            "Come on, guys!  The party's only started!"  Hermione jumped out of his chair.  "I'm gonna go start the barbeque!"

            "What's a barbeque?"  The answer came simultaneously from everyone except Hermione and Harry, who, having grown up as muggles, knew what a barbeque was.

            "It's a kind of stove thing that uses fire to grill stuff."  Harry answered.  "I think Hermione got burgers for us."

            Hermione's muggle aunt and uncle were away for the day, and they gave Hermione permission to have a party in their backyard while they were gone as long as they didn't torment the goat, and they cleaned up after themselves.

            When it got dark, Ron played with the matches again (like father, like son), and eventually got a fire started.  Because of the paper they were burning, anything they tried to roast over it turned a funny colour, so they just ate raw marshmallows.  After that, they all took the fun to the bean field next to the fire pit so that they could run around.

            Ginny had gotten hold of a muggle cell phone (in Europe, I believe they're called 'mobiles', or something like that), and she held it up in the air after turning on the glowing lights on it.  "If this light goes out, you know I'm in trouble!"  She yelled. 

            Everyone kept an eye on the bouncing glow of the phone.  It dropped to the ground, and everyone ran over to check on Ginny.

            "Wow!  There are like, no weeds in here!  Do they have people come and weed these, or do they somehow magically never grow weeds?"

            "You have never been to a farm before, have you Ginny?  My aunt and uncle spray the fields, and it kills the weeds".

            "Oh".

            Everyone burst out into laughter.

            "Who eats all these beans, anyways?"

            "The cows."  Everyone looked at Draco.

            "Oh."  Ginny was oblivious to the surprised looks everyone was giving Draco around her.  She sat with the light of her phone trained on the bean plant and continued poking it, petting it, and basically being Ginny.

            "What?  My cousin lives on a farm – he's in a bit of trouble, and he's trying to keep a low profile."

            "A _Malfoy_, in _trouble_?  Never!"  Ron replied sardonically.

            "I've read every book known to man.  I must have seen it somewhere."  Hermione was puzzled.

"What??"  Draco exploded.  "Do you really think that we're going to just let people know about this kind of thing?  Yeah right!  We erased him from everything that's ever mentioned him."

            "Ah."

            "This is a lot of beans for the cows to eat.  What about the wheat field?  Hey Hermione, want to put on peasant dresses and run through it like in those cheesy movies we watched?"  Ginny had completely ignored everything that had been said before she cut in.

            "Oh my Lord, Ginny."

**Yes, I WAS Ginny…  'Nuff said.  I really need to grow up.  No I don't.  That party was sweetness!  Thanks a lot to henry-jay-henry for hosting it!!!!!**

**t14m**


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